the dark seas

but the turning moments
open Her door and its wet
in the passage I am provoked
to some sort of ending then
so why do I grasp at
a different ideal? Her voice
makes noise a blanket
covering me

i.
can I see you in the dark seas?
will you conserve these words
in another lifetime? all issues
are terminal and apocalyptic
She knows this and I know this
it is what makes being
into something maybe you
can call it art maybe you can
capture it briefly write it down
or whip up a caricature but what
you can't do is scale it back
scale it down what is the actual
point is it is about everything
it is what makes being interesting

ii.
can I see you in the dark seas?
is this what my death will look like?
kimberly's face receding in
steel gray waters surfaces like
convex mirrors the night neither
day nor dawn yet lit with cold
luminescence as I struggle for breath
can I see you in the dark seas
can I find the air again
can the spark of energy
that represents this one organism
find a way to become a sort
of melody in the violence of
actual change the cells closing
shop the fluids of this version
of me drying in the deepening winds
sent by the great dance of entropy
can I feel the heat of this self
without an engine turning?
where are you my sweet darling?
still on land our child still saying
she loves us she loves us the air
a remunerative currency leaving
yet marking this moment this
heart your's mine our's our girl's
can I see you in the dark seas?
can I find our memory in every life?
can your hands reach out to me
past all these alternate scenes
the trees leafless in this time
the snow threatening today
can I see you when I have gone?
I need to know this
I need to believe this
it keeps me from the sudden
rush of water into the lungs


Some days it is hard to understand that utter disconnect between your digits and your conscious mind. I think I type something, but it turns out to be something else. My mind has never been that all-fired sharp. I've always been a fuzzy thinker, and that probably explains many of the innate losses I have suffered over the years. It's all I can do to keep food on the table and the bills paid, never mind planning for a future I might have.