fantasy ass

fantasy ass come pull my pain
from between these eyes
come turn the seared walls of my throat
into pleasured membrane
liquid with your passed saliva
silver the surfaces seeming to slip
one to the other
the focus in primary and secondary waves
0 fantasy ass that can't exist
make these lists come true
dwell in my disappearance
my summer cold punching buttons:
tablets, cough drops, booze on top
of hot cups of milk and coffee
anywhere but here
pull these eyes to your wondrous
sight, half-dressed, exposed,
hiding in your stockinged breath,
hands describing patterns in the air
anywhere but this place
silvered nails gathering, scraping
my surface, remembered painted lips
soft skin of saliva coating me,
coating me, pulling me out of this pain
this standard pain running colorless and clear
blanketting the milky way like
onan's cloak of nebulae
no understanding necessary
just the peace that has no name

I am guessing the usual suspect, but the business about fantasy ass is certainly a broadening idea. Of course most men have some aspects of this dilemma gathered inside of themselves. The idea of the perfect girl (and I say girl because, let's face it, this is a selfish, immature, stupid idealism that arises from the beginning of puberty. Sad and disturbing. But sensual and interesting for that) exists in one's imagination. And yes it does refer to a specific act of sex and it does posit orgasm as not just release but as catharsis, as a method of achieving knowledge. Knowledge of the self. A spiritual breakthrough.