dream, and even then

Originally chained to science
the abracadabra of year number 12
transferred my heart's bondage

before I was a romantic
after, a romantic with a penis
a very hungry boy indeed who
loved the girls and not just
for their use and not just for
their looks and not just for the
complex games they played with
his mind I cared about the idea

of the girl, the mom, the sister,
the lover, the wife. She who
brought us all here. I was in
my 20s when I knew I could see
something was wrong in how we
related to each other, the boys
and the girls, the men and the women

I could see the hatred and fear
in the faces of the males that I
knew well and I could see the fear
and the cunning in the faces of
the women I knew well. Of course
we were mostly in our 20s, so
none of us knew shit. Not really
not any shit that would later
turn out to be good and useful.

Thus the journey boogies on
from one sad escapade of flesh or
fate, ego driven, slick with the
juices, sayanora to the rational
we did the artiste thing living
passionately striving for the
honest heart

but dragged then into the
tornado of hormonal mis-truths
for the sake of come see me
darling girl for the sake of
change for you or change for me
I'll be what you must want or
you must be what I desire

what a load a hunk of dreary
fateful lingerie a lonely slip
to quote the dude abiding
and night after evening light
this woman or that understanding
not what I knew or know but
what is truly believed

and even now the Hammer
builds His house within the structure
I live in and in His house He wants
His way the possibility of truth
only lurking the central air disclosing
all the odd desires the ones
that reveal that which humiliates us
makes us stronger

tell that to the twelve year old
he is always humiliated and when
he discovers his worth is measured
in teaspoons on a daily basis &
any given girl can catch that
memory and return it with a meaning

he is ready to implode to twirl
in the curtain to return her bra
and panties to the closet of his
imagination oh if he only knew
how much harder it is going to get