First Valedictory, 2013

Can I mark these notes and find something valuable, or useful in them?
The self attenuates, age, the failures, the friend who wrote me off.
My response to this fact, to this ending of things, is not exactly abandonment
More a defeated desire for a  nap that never ends or another bourbon
          on the rocks.
Nobody will help me now. Nothing will come will come into focus.
What I get for thinking the world is interested in me. It just isn't.
I did nothing. I said nothing useful. Those I thought cared for me
         often didn't.
Now my bleeding is silent and there's no reason for this blog. No one
has been here for months except google's robots and myself.
The notes are only valuable as flawed history, and not mine.
People come for Amezquita, and Steve Dolgin. I took Janne's
         name out.
 And of course the Garys were never really here, none of them.
My family abandoned me long ago. Perhaps that was predictable.
My mother meant well but was an awful power freak. Really
I don't miss those people at all now. A sad truth
        waiting to be disturbed.
Maybe there will be more to this. I don't know now.
Goodbye goodbye goodbye goodbye. That's for
Phil Ochs, he said No More Songs. At least he had
a reason, even if he was utterly betrayed by Dylan
       I sympathize.