the breathing stills

I still love you
even in my dying moments
even though you gave in
and the surrender was artistic, beautiful
even though you no longer write
or seem to feel
except in your privacy
even though it is easy to dwell
in the aquarium

there will never be
another way to see this apparition
you will never be more
than a ghost of your old self
another incarnation shot
how could you be so stupid?
how could I let you?
but I did everything there was for me
to do except, perhaps, to kill myself
and this, I resist

go away go away please go away
leave me alone let me live
goddamn you go away